Housework part 2 and the latest joke from James!

By Andrew -
A pair of posts today from James:

 Housework Part 2
I wrote earlier about my newfound fascination with housework, and I am now able to confirm that my enthusiasm is undiminished, indeed it has redoubled.

The work itself is absorbing but in addition to the feelings of rapturous joy at seeing spotless kitchen surfaces and carpets devoid of any biscuit crumbs, I am learning so much. For example I can now change the filters on a vacuum cleaner and I know which squeezy bottle to use for cleaning bathroom mirrors without leaving unsightly smears. My mother would be proud – and no doubt rather surprised.

Like most vacuum cleaners ours has a variety of different heads which can be fitted onto the end of the hose. Before the lockdown unlocked my domestic fervour I had no idea what all these different heads were for. For all I knew they might have been parts of a Kenwood Chef which somehow had got into the wrong box. Not only do I now know what they do  but I am becoming quite skilled at using them. Furthermore , I also know how a Kenwood Chef works.

As you would expect, I am constantly making copious notes as I scrub and polish everything in sight. I have it in mind to write a book when this is all over which would be a combination of a textbook and a motivational guide. Move over Mrs Beeton! I confidently expect film rights and a TV series to follow shortly after publication.

 While I am ever deeper into the wonderful world of domestic science, Ursula continues unbated with her studies of classical guitar and is getting better by the day. I am aware that some other Green Gym ladies can also play a musical instrument and am therefore wondering if  a girl band might be in the offing – how about ‘The Green Gymslips’?
-James


And the joke...

The Green Gym Short List
The Abingdon Green Gym were getting a little short in numbers and wanted about a half dozen new members, so it was decided to advertise in the local paper. The Chairman (C) and the Secretary (S) met to review the replies.

C. How many responses have we had? 
S. Well, 35 replied to the advertisement but we do not want that many, so I have whittled them down to a short list of six. We should meet them soon.
C. Good. That’s fine. I guess that you’ve already taken a look through the replies. What sort of people are they ?
S. Quite impressive actually. I feel sure they will be valuable additions to our team. To give you a flavour, one of them spent fifteen years as a lumberjack in northern Canada, another planted a ten acre forest on the slopes of Ben Nevis entirely unaided, and a third is exceptionally strong having been a champion all-in wrestler for some years past. The other three are much the same.
C. Wow, they all sound ideal for our group. Do you have any reservations or doubts at all?
S. Yes. I was quite surprised to find that no men replied to our ad’.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pinkhill Meadow Nature Reserve, Farmoor Reservoir, 16th March 2019

By Andrew -
Image
Another week, another new site for the Abingdon Green Gym! We met at the car park at Farmoor Reservoir, a healthy turn out of 17 of us, including French father Sebastien, and his eleven-year old son, Maelo, who was joining us for a school project. The session was led by James under the instruction of Hanna Jenkins, the warden of Pinkhill Meadow Nature Reserve, so called because it is right on the banks of the River Thames, just near Pinkhill Lock. It was another blustery day. Will this crazy wind ever let up? We followed Hanna in convoy round the edge of the reservoir, which was choppy to say the least, and parked up on the other side where it was thankfully a little calmer, the high banks of the reservoir providing some shelter. Equipped with our tools, gloves and goggles, we made our way onto the spot on the nature reserve where we were to do our work. Hanna told us that the reserve had been formed in 1991, but some aspects had been neglected over the last ten years. The aim
Read more

Kennington Memorial Field, 29th October 2016

By Andrew -
We have been working at Kennington Memorial Field for a number of years now, clearing scrub from the slopes so that the valley remains an area of grassland and wild flowers. This time Rachel from Oxford Preservation Trust was in charge and led us down to the lower end of the field, where we were to cut back the trees and bushes by several metres and burn the scrub on a bonfire. We were joined by some families with children of varying ages, the youngest only three, who had answered a local appeal for volunteers. We set to work and soon we had a bonfire going. Even the children who were too young to use loppers and saws joined in, carrying branches to the bonfire pile. Despite the drizzly weather they all worked cheerfully. At tea break time we enjoyed some delicious snacks that Rachel had brought and a tin of chocolates supplied by Michele. We found two old birds' nests in the course of the morning and cutting back the scrub revealed a log pile with a rabbit hole under
Read more

Ock Valley Walk, Town End, 22nd June 2013

By Andrew -
Image
Quite a small group gathered for this session and the weather didn't look promising. However, we were pleased to welcome a new member, Laura. We set off for the woodchip path,where we made our encampment. The nettles had grown high and dense since our previous visit, almost concealing the young trees, compising beech, oak, silver birch, cherry and rowan, which we had planted as whips almost two and a half years previously. One of our tasks was to clear the nettles and other vegetation immediately around them. As you can see from the photo of the young cherry, most of the trees are flourishing. Other tasks were to cut up and clear fallen branches into piles and the inevitable litter picking. There was a sharp shower shortly before 11 o'clock but it had stopped when we gathered for a welcome tea break. By the end of the morning we had finished clearing round the trees, tidied away the dead wood and picked up quite a respectable amount of litter, though I suspect t
Read more