Further lockdown tales from James...

Housework Part 4
They say that in order for a craftsman to produce work of the highest quality he must have the right tools. This, I find, is as true of housework as it is of any other of any other activity. I have been doing quite a lot of hoovering, or to be more accurate, dysoning of late and have  had many a near mishap as the cable manages always to get entangled with my ankles, particularly when I am dysoning the stairs. So dangerous do I find this that I have taken to securing myself to the bannister rail with a length of rope and a carabiner.

Furthermore, some nooks are difficult to reach because the cable does not stretch far enough and I have to unhook the carabiner, unplug the Dyson from the socket, find another one nearer to the nook and reattach myself to the carabiner. All of this is most unsatisfactory and inhibits me from carrying out the task to the standard I have set for myself. Last week I decided that it was necessary for me to acquire a new set of tools, actually one tool – a cordless Dyson. It came two days ago.

Apart from the ghastly colour – purple – the new machine is magic and will, I am sure, transform my life. I am looking forward to dysoning the stairs tomorrow and may well be unable to resist dysoning every carpet and rug in the house, several times a week from then on. I will put the carabiner back on the shelf.

This self -isolating thing causes us to do some things we would not ordinarily dream of doing. One of these is to wipe down groceries with washing up liquid before putting them away in cupboards and fridges. This is fine for bottles and tins but it does tend to make biscuits rather soggy and it spoils their taste.

Meanwhile, although I am now proficient at most household tasks, there is one that I continue to struggle with. This is changing the duvet cover on our bed. Getting the corners of the main stuffed bit into the far corners of the cover is proving to be a major challenge. Every time I try it I seem to get myself trapped inside the cover unable to find the way out for several minutes. There must be a good guide on YouTube for which I will now have to search.


  1. Top tip for James..... turn the duvet cover inside-out, put your hands inside up to the far corners and grab the duvet corners, then shake the cover down and hopefully it will be the right way round on the duvet :)


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